Elf magic

This Friday, a great question on Reddit.com, with even greater answers.

Question: How does Santa avoid all those trademark infringement lawsuits due to the fact that he produces and delivers toys identical to those from companies such as Mattel and Hasbro?

Answers:

  1. He doesn’t, but nobody has the balls to sue Santa. Or maybe they can’t find him, whatever.
  2. It’s not just about balls. To start a lawsuit, you need to be able to serve process on someone. Good luck handing Santa or his agent papers.
  3. Intellectual property, trademarks and copyrights are not recognised in his majesty’s sovereign kingdom. Santa Clause is the undisputed King in the North.
  4. This explains why some of the biggest corporations are the biggest opponents of regulating greenhouse gasses. They’re trying to drown the jolly old sovereign so they can reap the rewards when people have to buy Christmas presents.
  5. Santa had a long talk with the toy company execs. I imagine Santa invited them all to his cozy little house, Mrs. Claus served milk and cookies, and they all gathered round the warm fireplace. And then Santa launches into his spiel. What’s the harm in having The Workshop produce all these knock off toys? They have kids too, right? C’mon, it’s all about the spirit of giving and of making small children smile. It’s just one day out of the year. What’s that? You don’t want to play ball, Mr. Executive? Well, I remember making a list, and I’m sure if I check it twice, I can come up with a few naughty things you did, once upon a time. Oh, Ho-ho-ho, you’re not scared of a little blackmail, are you Mr Corporate President? Well, I’m sorry you see it that way. Well, it’s not all bellies full of jelly here in the north pole. I was hoping for a more congenial discussion, but if this is how you feel, I’m sure that if you talk it out with my associate, Attorney Krampus, we can work this out. I think we can make you an offer you can’t refuse.
  6. If you get mass produced toys from Mattel and Hasbro as presents instead of Santa’s toys, that means that you were a bad kid this year and your parents faked presents. Usually rich families have the worst kids, and coincidently they have such toys. I always receive hand made individual toys as presents, which nobody else have, and my family is very poor and every year is challenge, rewarded by Santa.
  7. Elf magic.

Have a nice weekend!

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